“If Reuben Just Slowed Down and Maintained Focus…” – And Other Utterly Useless School Report Comments

Rethinking ADHD in the Classroom (Without Blaming the Child)

“Amira is a capable student but needs to try harder to concentrate.”

“If Reuben just slowed down and focused, he’d achieve so much more.”

“Nyla is very fidgety and distracts others – she needs to take more responsibility for her behaviour.”

Ah yes, the end-of-term school report — that curious blend of optimism and passive-aggressive feedback. For children with ADHD, these reports often read like a polite way of saying, “Your child’s brain is inconvenient for my lesson plan.”

Let’s be clear: ADHD is not a personality flaw or a lack of effort. It’s a neurodevelopmental condition that affects how a child regulates their attention, impulses, emotions, and energy. Telling them to “just concentrate” is a bit like telling a phone with 2% battery to “just last the whole day.”

“If Reuben Just Slowed Down and Maintain Focus…”

This phrase appears in school reports with infuriating regularity. On the surface, it sounds like a motivational nudge. In reality, it translates as:

“If Reuben could override his neurological wiring and behave like a neurotypical child, things would be easier for us.”

Here’s the thing: focus isn’t a moral choice, and slowing down isn’t always physiologically possible for a child with ADHD. Their brain seeks stimulation to stay regulated — which is why Reuben may blurt out answers, bounce in his seat, or forget what he was doing halfway through a sentence. It’s not rebellion; it’s biology.

The statement also implies that Reuben is somehow not trying hard enough. In fact, he may already be working harder than most of his peers just to stay seated, listen, and engage — all while masking his overwhelm.

Instead of saying, “He’d achieve so much more if…”, what if we recognised that he’s already achieving a lot simply by being there?

So What Can Teachers Do Instead?

1. Replace “Try Harder” with “Let’s Try Differently”

ADHD brains don’t respond to pressure — they respond to interest, novelty, movement, and structure. If the work is boring, overwhelming or too long, their brain disengages. Not by choice. By default.

Ask:

• What lights this child up?

• How can I introduce task variety or movement?

• Where are the friction points?

Try:

• Shorter, scaffolded tasks

• Movement-integrated activities

• Visual schedules and timers

• Explicit praise for effort and strategy (not just outcomes)

2. Stop Punishing the Wiggle

Nyla isn’t “misbehaving” when she wriggles, taps, stretches, or fidgets — she’s self-regulating. Movement helps ADHD brains stimulate and soothe simultaneously.

Swap shame-based behaviour charts for:

• Fidget tools

• Standing desks

• Movement breaks

• Roles involving physical activity

3. Shift from Blame to Co-Regulation

“If Reuben just took more responsibility…” Well, sure — and if pigs could fly, we’d need umbrellas. But in reality, ADHD affects the very executive functions needed for self-monitoring, planning, and inhibition.

Instead of scolding, offer:

• Gentle, neutral prompts

• Predictable routines

• Individual check-ins

• Consistent relationships and encouragement

These children don’t need stricter rules. They need systems that work for their brains — not against them.

How to Reframe School Reports for Neurodivergent Kids.

Let’s reword some of those all-too-familiar comments…

 Instead of:

“Theo needs to stop distracting others and learn to concentrate.”

 Try:

“Theo contributes creatively in group tasks. We’re exploring ways to help him manage transitions and sustain focus using visual supports and movement breaks.”

 Instead of:

“Freya needs to be more responsible for her learning.”

 Try:

“Freya shows growing independence when provided with structure. We’re supporting her with task initiation strategies and confidence-building feedback.”

Final Thoughts

When we say, “They should just focus more”, we’re ignoring the reality that ADHD is not a choice — it’s a difference in brain wiring. The child isn’t the problem. The lack of adaptation is.

Instead of “trying harder,” let’s try differently. Let’s meet Reuben, Nyla, and Amira where they are, and give them the tools, flexibility, and compassion they need to flourish.

Because if a child is fidgeting, zoning out, or struggling to keep up — the answer isn’t to reprimand them for it. The answer is to ask:

“What might this child need in order to feel safe, seen, and successful? "his isn’t just semantics — it’s a shift in philosophy. One that moves from compliance-based education to compassionate inclusion.

Written by Sarah Clark – ADHD Coach & Therapist at MindTune

We help parents, schools, and children navigate the real-world challenges of ADHD with humour, compassion, and strategies that work